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.::Sunshine, Most Times::.

Friday, December 03, 2004

It's Friday!!!! I know this is long, but it's funny!!!!!!!

Subject: I wish I didn't say that!

FIRST TESTIMONY:
> > I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned
around and walked back out and never went back. My
husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
>> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
> > My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety
of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind
the counter asked if we needed any help I replied, "No, I'm just looking at
your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, The
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister
has never let me forget
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
> > While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told
her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard whenthe door closed behind me,were
screams of laughter
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
> > Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I
kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have
any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,"Danny,
did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
> > This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true
story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: So Bob, where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave
the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing! so hard!

Have a great friday, will probably post later- Hubby and I are FINALLY putting up the X-mas lights this afternoon. I'll try to get some pics! Peace, KC


Invisioned on |8:51 AM|

* * *

.::About me::.


Wife, Mother, Breast Cancer Survivor!
Die-Hard Def Leppard Fan!!!!!
Life is short-- Live, Love, and Laugh!
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