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Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Another Day...
Another darn Dr's appointment. I have to go by the Plastic surgeon's office today. They want to get specific measurements, give me my surgery "to-do" list, and Rx's. Which means I have to drive all the way up there again. Why couldn't they give that all to me at my last appointment, like the general surgeon did? Another 45 minute drive, another $40 Co-pay, and gas wasted- HARRUMPH! I wish these doctors could get their sh*t together!
I been spending time this week cleaning, and getting all the little things done in advance. I probably will me in no shape next weekend to do housework, though I have heard from those who have had this surgery before me that it shouldn't be all that bad. But I will apparently have a "drain" that will remain in for about a week, and that could hinder my movement somewhat. Becky and I are going down to Hollywood video on Thursday to rent a pile of movies, that should help keep me sane!
The last couple of days I have been up and down emotionally. I've tried not to show my fears in front of the kids, but I think Becky knows. She's been sticking pretty close, and hasn't given me any grief about helping around the house ( very strange for a teenager!) I won't lie- this is the first time since I was diagnosed that "fear" has reared it's ugly head again! On Friday, I will lose a part of me that, well, let's put it this way: Even when I was feeling "frumpy", the two things I always thought were my best ( physical) features were my hair, and my,..er, chest. I'm not Dolly Parton, but they've always been a positive asset. And the surgeon showed me some pictures of what I'll probably look like after the surgery, and it's not pretty. I know, I'll be put "back together" eventually. But it still hurts. And though I know, deep down, that Jon loves me- that part of the equation is scaring me as well. I have often teased him about being a "T*t-man", and it IS one of the things that attracted him to me in the beginning. I know, I'm worrying over nothing. After 20 years of marriage, I know this won't end it- but put yourself in my shoes. Sometimes, the head and the heart argue, and this is one of them.
So do me a favor- If you have any good jokes, send them my way. I could use a few good laughs this week! I'll be here. Who knows? Maybe it's just the crappy weather getting to me. HA! Take care of you! Peace, KC
Invisioned on |8:52 AM|
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