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Friday, September 02, 2005
Another day...
And more shit from the school. Andy came home early today ( he said HE had lice- Jeez!) and then as I was leaving to go to the bus stop for Kimmie, the school called. Seems since Andy wasn't on the bus- Kimmie was taken off! No one told me it was mandatory for Kindergarteners to have a designated "escort" on the buses!!! Sheesh. Well, now that I know, I can fix it. But so much for a peaceful day.
Went for my check-up this morning, and Dr. B said I'm healing well. Not as fast as some would, but between the Chemo and Radiation, my skin & body just won't heal as fast as most would. But that's ok, just so long as it does eventually!!!
Well, I've had it for this week. Between Katrina, and my own personal crap I could really use a joke. Or maybe 2?
Menopause
Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a
light bulb?
Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!!
And do you know WHY? Because no one else
in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!
They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!!
They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!
But if they did, by some miracle of GOD, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!
BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED
FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!
IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . ..
I'm sorry. What was the question?
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Subject: Men -- Choosing a wife:
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three
likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see
what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her
hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very
nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive
for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of
golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As
she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on
him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several !
times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder
in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money he'd given her.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than
on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large
elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no
recollection of what to do with them.
Me here- The fomer will not be me!!!!!
Peace and Love, KC
Invisioned on |1:41 PM|
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