Friday, December 30, 2005
Look out house...
Here I come! I am bound and determined to get at the mess that is my house today. And Jon is planning on being home by noon, at which time we shop! All of us got gift cards/certificates for Christmas that are burning holes in our wallets. So we have to go out and see what else we need/want. I did want to wait until the stores had "restocked" before we went. I was out on Monday morning- but so many shelves were empty that it just didn't seem worth it. I mean, I'd rather wait and use them on something I WANT- than on something that's THERE- you know?!
Anywho, I ended up working only 2 hours yesterday. I was supposed to go to another store to finish up my shift, but "fate" stepped in the way to change that. You see- my Mom wrecked her car on Weds. night. She's fine, as is my cousin. But her front end and wheel were all messed up. So I had to end up driving my cousin to the Orlando airport last night. I'm just glad that THEY are good. My mom's car is another story however. And I'm really pissed at her for how it happened! She agrees- it was her fault. She dozed off at the wheel and hit a big curb! I wanted to smack her! WTF was she doing driving? My cousin could have driven- she was fine! BUT NO!!!!! So I had a L O N G talk with her in the car on the way back from the airport. Hopefully she won't do that again! She wonders why I always insist on driving while we are out together. It's because her driving skills have deteriorated over the last few years. I have also managed to convince her to fly when she goes up north to see family. She used to drive- ALL BY HERSELF- all the way up to Pennsylvania! Just her and her dog! I put an end to that thank goodness! But I worry about her. She's had a total of 3 accidents in her life- 2 in the last 2 years ( and one when I was 16!!) So you see what I mean. But she's just too darn independant to give up the driving as of yet. And she'd have no way to get to work if she didn't. So I just pray and worry.
Well, off that depressing topic! Since I finally have my tower back, we can get back to normal around here! So today's Friday Funnie! Actually- it's not a funnie per se. But I can really get into this idea! I might just do this one day:
No Nursing Home For Me!
About two years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner.
At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I noticed that all the staff, ship officers, waiters, busboys, etc. all seemed very familiar with this lady. I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back
As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises." She replied, "Yes, that's true." I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."
So, after much thought, I came to the following decision: There will be no nursing home in my future.
When I get old and I am going to get on a Princess cruise ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 a day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I find that I can get a long-term discount and a senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
Gratuities which will only be $10.00 per day.
1. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.)
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night
4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a! patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.
7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship, they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or name where you want to go?
Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for ! me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge!
Ok, I'll give you one more! I owe you all a few ;-)
A farmer had five female pigs.
Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other far mer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant, if they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week.
One morning the farmer was so tired, he couldn't get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither, yelled his wife, they're all in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn!"
Peace and Love- KC!
Invisioned on |9:38 AM|
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