Friday, January 06, 2006
And boy do I need it! Suffice to say- this week was a nightmare! But I will not speak about it any more, since I'm beginning to sound like a broken record.
I noticed, while paying my cellphone bill this morning, that I can upgrade my phone. And since I was planning to get a new camera ( to replace the one that was broken Christmas Day) I decided to kill 2 birds with on stone- so to speak!
a Sony Ericsson W600-
This puppy has a "real" camera in it, holds mp3's, and is just too cool for words! The screen on it is also larger than most cameras, so I'll be able to see it better with my old eyes lol!
So this weekend we are going to take down the Christmas decorations, clean and relax! It's suppose do be freezing tomorrow and Sunday, so I'll have to "tent" the garden as well. It figures, since I have a bunch of stuff that is about 2 weeks off harvest. Well, it's not like this hasn't happened before. So I best get to it- but first- Your Friday Funnies! Brought to you from the www, since I haven't been getting any good ones in the mail ( that were not sent by one of you, and therefore read by all!) ENJOY!
Wireless home security systems aren't just for rich folk. Here's how rednecks do it:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work boots. A really big pair.
2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of American Rifleman magazine.
3. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.
4. Leave a note on your front door that says: "Bubba, big Mike and me have gone to get more ammunition. Back in a half hr. Oh, and don't disturb the Pit Bulls -- they's just been wormed."
5. Pop a cold one and relax.
How men interpret language:
It's really very simple, once you get the hang of it. A few examples:
1. "I'm going fishing."
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
2. "It's a guy thing."
Translated: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
3. "Can I help with dinner?"
Translated: Why isn't it already on the table?
4. "Uh huh, sure honey." or, "Yes, dear."
Translated: (Means absolutely nothing -- it's a conditioned response.)
5. "It would take too long to explain."
Translated: I haven't the foggiest.
6. "I was listening to you. It's just ... I have lots of things on my mind."
Translated: Huh? I wasn't listening.
7. "Take a break honey, you're working too hard."
Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
This would be Jon- BTW!
8. "That's interesting, dear."
Translated: Oh, are you still talking?
9. "You know how bad my memory is."
Translated: I remember the theme song to "F-Troop," the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the license plate numbers of every car I've had. But I have no idea when your birthday is.
10. "I dunno ... I was just thinking about you, and when I saw these roses I just thought you'd like them."
Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
11. "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Translated: I've severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
12. "I've got my reasons for what I'm doing".
Translated: ...and I sure hope I think of some soon.
13. "I can't find it."
Translated: It didn't fall into my out-stretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
14. "What did I do this time?"
Translated: What did you catch me at?
15. "I heard you."
Translated: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't find that out.
16. "You know I could never love anyone else."
Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me, and I realize it could be worse.
17. "You look terrific."
Translated: Oh God, please don't try on any more clothes!
18. "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Translated: No human will ever see us alive again.
Have a great weekend all!
Peace and Love, KC
Invisioned on |10:08 AM|
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