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Friday, March 10, 2006
Is it just me?
Or are you having a "blog-block"? Must be me, but I just can't seem to find anything interesting to talk about. Well, I mean- I could biotch about work. But it would just be the same 'ol, same 'ol. And aside from report cards ( which were good, btw) there really hasn't been a lot going on in my world. I get up, get the kids off to school, clean up myself, usually get called into work early ( good for the concert fund!) work until 7pm, come home, clean up the kitchen, sit down to relax/check or help with homework- fall asleep! Well, I guess I shouldn't complain. Last year I was yearning for all this "normalcy"!! Does make it hard to come up with blog posts though.
I do want to give a quick thanks to Kim! I ordered a 1 gig card for Becky's camera yesterday. We'll be able to try it out on the vacation, see how much one of those suckers holds! I'm also interested in that thing Rhonda was talking about. The "storage unit" for the camera. But that will have to wait until I have some money not already commited to other things.
So since I've nothing else really to say, we'll just get right to the Friday Funny! This one comes from Tig:
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Health Questions And Answers.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart
will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of
your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.
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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
_____
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"
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And one from Kat!:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularaly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidently left out one letter in her email address, and without noticing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife Date: Thursday, October 13, 2004 Subject: I have Arrived!
Dearest Love:
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I have just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look foward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS: Sure is freaking hot down here!! ......................................................
I hope you all have a great Friday! I will be back here either tonight, or sometime tomorrow. I only hope I have something to say lol!
Peace and Love, KC!
Invisioned on |7:47 AM|
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